The Silence Doesn't Dare
by Gwendolyn Fairfax
Summary: After the death of his best friend, Remus cannot see how a relationship with Tonks could ever become anything more, so he finds comfort elsewhere. Written inbetween OotP and HBP for LJ. Inspired by Damien Rice's song, The Professor. Please read and review


He should have said something else to her, told her that….no, it was better to leave her young and whole, and untainted by the monster within him. He ordered a bottle of the strongest liquor the place had to offer. He figured he needed it.

Remus took a shot of the warm amber liquid. It burned as it traveled with slow intensity down his throat. He looked around at the crowd, the others trying desperately to drown their own sorrows in alcohol. He found himself taking one, two, three more shots of whatever was in the bottle. As each shot went down, he tried to not think about Sirius, about how he had left him here alone…drinking alone. He tried to forget that he was the only one left alive and uncompromised; that he was the lone Marauder who had neither support nor the comfort of his fellows because he was once again alone in the world.

Tonight, he was just another nameless face in the sea of drunken men and women, just another person who used alcohol for an escape from brutal reality. This was how it should be, just him, without her, without anyone.

Four, five, six, times he tried to ignore the pain with no effect. He stared down in the empty shot glass, vaguely registering a warm body sitting down beside him. It was a very somber but vividly pink someone. Neither said anything, but he poured some of the liquid into her glass. He figured she needed it.

They sat in silence, neither daring to say the one thing that could have helped them both with the pain. Slowly, the alcohol consumed Remus, making him numb to the world around him. His only realization of what was going on came when the woman next to him got up. He grabbed her arm in protest, not wanting her to leave him there alone. She seemed to understand his sudden grasp, because she did not go away. Giving him a sad and strange look, she helped him from his seat and brought him to one of the upstairs rooms. Stumbling, speaking in incoherent sentences, Remus found himself in an unknown place, not knowing how he got there. He was pushed gently back onto the hard mattress told to sleep it off. Again, the young woman tried to leave.

"Don't," escaped his lips. "Don't leave me alone." Merlin, his words sounded pathetic, like the words of a young child who could not be left alone in the dark for too long, before the monsters from the corners of his mind came out to torment him.

"I'll never leave you," she said quietly. Remus knew this to be a rebuttal to earlier remarks, but he didn't have the strength to respond and just sat numbly on the bed, wanting something he could not have.

Nymphadora crept over to sit beside him and rested her head on his shoulder. He found this motion strange, for when he was most in need of support she found support in him. Somehow, the need for each other's support balanced out, and a feeling of contentment flooded them both. He looked at her sad face, eyes closed with pain and silent tears. He lifted her chin up, and she opened her eyes.

"Remus…" she managed before his mouth engulfed her own. She eagerly kissed him back, bringing her hands to the back of his head and pressing him harder into her lips, leaving no space between them. They kissed with passion and fervor; it was everything that had never been said between them because they both were too afraid of rejection and betrayal.

Clothes were almost ripped apart as flesh made contact with flesh, as though touch would relieve all the pain and sorrow they had known that past week. Kisses were no longer sacred but were merely a tool to fuel the desire and momentum. Hands roamed, groped, seeking and searching for something eternal yet not quite tangible. Breathing became short and staggered as heat surrounded the two, and all courtship was forgotten. It was now about primal lust, a need for a connection in an unsure world.

Intensely, eagerly, quickly, they found their connection. For a brief moment, they caught each other's eye, seeking approval for what they both wanted so badly. Seeing in each other's eyes permission granted, Remus entered her with one swift, anticipated motion. Gasps, moans, and confirmation of the pleasure they both were receiving filled the room as sharp, harsh, quick thrusts were made.

And they collapsed into each other's arms, their deep breathing becoming one, long inhales and exhales. Nymphadora placed a hand his chest where his heart beat, feeling the unsteady pounding against her palm. Remus closed his eyes, still feeling the warmth of her body beneath his, taking in her response to his touch, the way she was able to make him forget.

"Remus," said a small voice. He opened tired eyelids to see her face, so beautiful in the moonlight coming through the window. He looked expectantly at her, as though she would be the one to be brave, to admit everything they both knew to be true. But no such words came from her mouth. She looked worried, confused, expecting those words to come from him. Instead, a quiet "Thank you" could be heard, before they both allowed the tranquil arms of sleep to come at last to take them away from reality.

They both had needed it.

A/N: All reviews are greatly appreciated! 


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